Sunday, 18 May 2008

I Am Israel

Hello everyone. I'm so sorry I haven't written in such a long time, but it's been a long and difficult period of questioning, and decision making.
These are the main thoughts that have been in my mind in the past couple of months.

I came back from London, very inspired, but very confused, as I always do when I go back there. I decided that I shouldn't go back for a while. It would be like opening a wound not yet fully scarred, like seeing an ex you have recently broken up with.

I decided that Israel was The One. After the Yom Hazikaron and Yom Hatzmaut celebrations, I realized that Israel was the only country for which I felt pride and a real sense of belonging, with its history, and with its people. I am a part of Israel. Leaving it would break my heart. It's the first time I do not want to leave a place.

It's easy to think that as an artist, I should go to NY or London to try and "make it", but in Israel, I am a pioneer. This is a 60 year-old country where everything is yet to be done, where everything is possible, and where creative inspiration comes from raw material, and not from an over-saturated art market, constantly comparing myself to thousands of other good artists competing against each other, trying to be cooler and more clever than the next. Here I can believe in myself and in the powerful energy that emanates from this country, I can trust G-d to give me all the inspiration I need to make real work that comes from the heart, rather than make work to please others.

I do miss London and all its European sophistication has to offer, but I believe that I will never be truly happy there, and never truly free, as I will always be thinking about Israel. I decided to open my eyes, and realize that here, in Israel, I am Real. When I allow myself to dig a little bit deeper, I discover things that I never suspected Israel could offer me. Israel is generous to me, because I am willing to be generous to Israel, generous like I would never be towards any other country. Israel is making me a better person.